House, Not Home

Well, it’s official.

We’re moving to Utah.

Yes, you read correctly.

Today dad signed the final paperwork for a ridiculously beautiful house in Alpine. We don’t know exactly when we’re moving, but it will be in the beginning half of this summer.

I don’t know what to say. Or actually, I can’t decide what to say. A million thoughts are vying for attention in my head right now. Some thoughts are bright red and look like shouting, some are deep blue and look like crying, and some are dark grey and look like frowning. I feel like laughing and screaming and sobbing all at the same time (is this what pregnant women feel like for nine months straight??? Blech).

However.

I am twenty years old, not two. And I’m trying to act like it.

I do know that a lot of prayer and fasting and temple attendance from our whole family went into this decision. So I know it’s right. And I really am looking forward to being closer to family (not to mention the house’s projector screen… and pool).

Also, I know it’s important to be a supportive contributor to my family, now more than ever. Our family needs each other. And I always need to support my dad.

So, I tore the “Cons of Moving to Utah” list from my writing journal. And then, slowly and carefully, I ripped that list of 19 cons into 64 small identical squares and recycled it.

And now I’m back to battling all the swirling thoughts in my head.

And I’m sorry if you have to find out we’re moving through a blog entry. I would like to call everyone and talk about the move for hours, honestly I would, but as we all know, some things just don’t happen the way we think they should.

“No matter under what circumstances you leave it,

home does not cease to be home.”

Joseph Brodsky