In Which Brooke Discovers Two Unlikely Aptitudes Which Shall be Labeled as Talents

Yesterday at Walmart, another of my fabulous domestic talents was officially made known:

Picking the slowest checkout line.

So there I was, standing in aisle 20 and making faces at Sam in aisle 6.

Two parties were in line in front of me - a mother and a daughter buying things for the daughter's new dorm room, and a young married couple.

The first few minutes, it was mildly amusing to hear the mom and daughter discuss the finer points of pillow sizes {should they put one pillow back? wait, we don't want that item anymore. and are you sure the sheets are the right size? because some dorm beds are longer! yes, mom. but pleeeeeeease can I get the Jonas Brothers poster too? mom I promise, lots of girls my age have them}.

Then, I became a little bored. One can only eavesdrop on a discussion about the age-appropriateness of the Jonas Brothers for so long.

I began to read the headlines of the magazines.

BRITNEY'S MIDNIGHT RAMPAGE! EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF HER DRUNKEN BREAKDOWN. Meh.

ANGELINA MISCARRIAGES AGAIN: HER HEARTBREAK AND HER TERRIFYING MEDICAL CONDITON. Boring.

Then, it was time for the married couple to pay for their stuff. This is where it gets good.

Side note: by this time, Sam was done {he always wins! Even when I try to be sneaky and not tell him it's a race.}

Him: oh shoot hun, I think we're gonna be over budget.

Her: yes dear, but it's okay. We got lots of toiletry items, that's why.

Him: good point, love.

{me: impatient but still polite cough}

Him: babe, look! We saved a dollar fifty on the Q-tips!

Her: yay! you're the best!

Them: celebratory kiss. And then another kiss. Apparently Q-tips are really something to kiss about.

{me: I'd rather read the details of BRITNEY'S DRUNKEN RAMPAGE than watch this couple snog in the middle of Walmart}

Her: hey handsome, we're so good! This isn't even counting the rebate for my cell phone!

Him: yes, but sweetheart, we forgot about all these cans we're getting. They're like a dollar a can after tax. Darn it.

Her: oh my baby, that's okay. We'll make it {consoling rub on the arm}

Oh married people. I can't wait to be one in 51 days.

Anyway, several pet names and trashy headlines later, it was my turn!

And we even made it home before my milk expired. Dang I am good.

__________________________

Also, you know how cereal commercials look like this:

Keyword: strawberries.

You know how they all have strawberries floating around, making life nutritious and delicious? Well, I got some strawberries at Walmart, just to increase my "my life is like a commercial" swag.

Sam came over this morning {I love it when he comes over for breakfast. We stare at each other through drooping eyes over our bowls of off-brand cereal.... it's super romantic}. Anyway, I was all excited about my strawberries and the resulting perfect life I would have BUT.....

The strawberries were sour. And covered in ice crystals because I put them on the wrong shelf last night.


Good 'ole Sam. He still ate them. And then we laughed about it.

See? Am I domestic goddess in the making or am I a domestic goddess in the making?

:)