Angel Day tradition: straight to heaven

I think I need one more day. One more day to process and be in shock and be so so sad for the community in Connecticut. It just doesn't feel right posting pictures of outfits and crafts and recipes like nothing happened, like I'm still in that completely frivolous holiday mood. I still am in a holiday mood, and I think we should be, but I just need one more day to sort things out in my mind. I hope you'll bear with me for one more heavy post.

What does feel okay to share is one of my very favorite traditions. As you know, last week I commemorated Angel Day, which is the day my beautiful mother had to leave this earth and become an angel. On that day, right at sunset, I went to the cemetery. 

I carried with me white carnations, some of her favorite candy, and cream & gold balloons {the colors I think of when I think of heaven}.

Attached to those balloons was a letter to my angel mother, telling her about my year, and pictures. Mom, I'm a real life teacher now, and I love it. Mom, we're making some big changes, and even though you already know what they are, we want to tell you anyway. Mom, I miss you.

I sent them up into the sky. I want to send them straight to heaven, and I know heaven is beyond the sky, but the sky is as close as I can get. 

So I take deep breaths, and wipe my tears, and just let go.

There's a power in just letting go.

And I watch the balloons until they're out of sight, until they reach that heaven I imagine they go to.

And I recommit. I recommit to be a little kinder, a little more giving, a little more selfless and loving. Because I know the best way to honor my strong, sweet mother is to live the legacy of love she left. It is my biggest aspiration to be like her one day.

"Everything I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

I love you mom.