Do YOU have better grammar than a fifth grader?

In theory, summers are the best time for a teacher to plan new units and projects because they are unencumbered with the day-to-day tasks of students, grading, recess duty, etc.  Does this mean I'm actually being productive and getting things done in my classroom this summer? HA! No way!  But I sure am making a valiant effort pretending I’m doing something useful as I watch yet another episode of White Collar and repaint my nails.

What I do keep thinking about this summer is grammar, which tells me
a) I have serious relaxation problems or
b) possibly something more deep-seated,
c) I need to get a life, and
d) grammar? really?

And now, I present to you, the grammar of my 5th graders last year. Can you spot what's wrong in each one?

Your the best teacher ever! 

Sometimes I think I failed in the you're/your battle with my students. But then, as I scroll through twitter and facebook, I realize it's more of a worldwide misuse epidemic.

u r the gr8est teacher ever 

Attention parents of the world: 99 out of 100 fifth graders do not need cell phones. Look what happens.

You’re the best teacher I’ve ever gotten. 

And you’re the best student I’ve ever HAD.

You’re not the worst or best teacher ever. 

And you are going to ace neither your end of year tests nor your ACT unless you work on your neither/nor grammar, in which case every possibility in the world is open to you.

Yore the beste techar in the warlde. 

I had some seriously DARLING kids last year who couldn’t spell a single thing, bless their souls.

And there you have it! 

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?