my students say the darnedest things {vol.4}

My teacher friends joke that we could write a book about teaching, and nobody would believe it. The sentences that actually come out of our mouths are so foreign to the average working person that we'd be sued for making things up. Our fellow teachers would get it, and some parents would get it, but that's about it.

A sampling of actual sentences we've said this month alone:

• At school, we get to keep our shirts on all day long!
• You have to stop farting during class. I keep getting complaints.
• It looks like we forgot about the "Don't stick our fingers in other people's mouths" rule.
• Try it again, but this time walk like a human being.
• You're the first person I've met who can read with their eyes closed.
• Everyone gets three points if we don't lose any students in the Halloween parade today!

Literally in no other profession do sentences like that come out of your mouth on a daily basis. (Can you tell which of these were aimed toward the littles and which were said to the upper grades?)

 Via. As if any teacher's classroom ever looked like this.

And now, without further ado, my next installment of the hilarious things my sweet kids say:

Me: "Write this in the margin."

Student: "Isn't margin a type of butter?"

Student talking to her friend: "I've never broken the no gum in school rule. I'm too afraid to find out what the consequence is."

Me: "How was the substitute?"

Student: "I don't mean to be mean, but her shirt was way too small."

Student: "I left my summary at home, but that's okay because I actually memorized it so I can tell it to you so I can still go out for recess."

Me: "You literally memorized your whole summary last night?"

Student: "Yeah!"

Me: "What chapter was it on?"

Student: "Um... Uh... okay fine I'll stay in."

Student, playing hot and cold to help another student find the hidden math problem: "Warmer, warmer, warmer, YOU ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW!"

Rest of class: giggles like crazy

Student: "What? He is! You're HOT! You're HOT! You're SO HOT!"

I am seriously having so much fun with my class this year. They're responsible, they work hard, and they have a sense of humor. I feel blessed to call these 29 kiddos mine from August till May!