Things I just can't get behind

There are some trends and habits that I totally get. Everyone's burning love for the fall season, girl scout cookies, and Pinterest, for example. But there are some things that are super popular that I just DON'T GET. We all have our weird things, and these are mine! My friend Danica recently did a post about things she hates (see it here), and I knew I just had to make a list of my own. Buckle up for a crazy lady venting about weird things!

This picture has nothing to do with the post, except to illustrate the fact that clearly,

I don't get things that normal people get ;)

Dogs elevated to human status.  I realize I'm mortally offending at least four of my closest friends by saying this, but dogs are not humans. (Please, friends, still love me?) If the statement "dogs are man's best friend" applies to you, don't you think you need more friends? I actually really like dogs, and I think they can be great companions, but I guess I've never had a relationship with a dog that comes close to a relationship with a best friend. Also, I don't get why dogs need clothes, because they have centuries of evolutionary adaptations, aka fur, to keep them warm. Maybe if I grew up with a dog I'd get why people sometimes say they're parents, only to reveal that what they mean is they're dog owners? One of my dog-loving readers, help me understand this!

Halloween.  I don't know why, but I've never really liked this holiday. I mean, I guess it's fun to dress up and get candy and such? I can't ever get into the Halloween spirit very much, but I wish I could! Dry ice cauldrons and making a cool costume would be super fun, but I'm just not into it. It's not you, Halloween, it's me.

Chevron.  I once owned a chevron patterned lanyard for work, but that's where my chevron career starts and stops. I feel like I'm majorly underperforming in this category, since everyone's laptop wallpapers and Christmas decorations and leggings and living rooms and firstborn sons are chevron patterned these days. And have you seen GroopDealz lately? Every third item is chevron! Do you think this is a passing trend or something that's here to stay?

Sandwiches.  I know, this one is so weird. I'm the type of person who would rather eat turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and bread separately than combined on a sandwich. Subway? Never once craved it. I'll eat a sandwich if someone makes one for me, but I'm never in the mood for one.

Abbreviating words. Totes cray cray adorbs, obvs. HAS NO ONE READ 1984?? Remember how our communication, and then the world, will come crashing down around us if we stop using actual language to express ourselves??? Yes, I am paranoid about this. Yes, I realize it's not healthy. Also, hours spent explaining to students that "2" and "u" are not real words has gotten to me.


So there you have it: weird things I just can't get behind. Now it's your turn! Are you with me on anything on my list? What's on your list?