my students say the darnedest things {vol. 7}

It's back! Another installment of this popular series is back (and funnier than ever, in my opinion).

Before I get started, I think there's a lot of you who are thinking "her students? what students?? I thought she was a stay-at-home mom?" In the mornings and early afternoons, I am home (or at the gym, or running errands, or etc etc etc), but in the afternoons, I tutor. I recently got hired with a tutoring company that matches tutors to students. They do the hard work of finding committed families that need tutors, and I get to do the fun part - teach 'em!

It's so funny how different everyone's work/home balance is. Some moms work full time and love it. Some moms work part time and love it. Some moms don't work outside the home at all and love it.

I personally love tutoring. I so look forward to the hours that I get to be Mrs. Emery (well, actually I'm known as Mrs. Brooke with my tutoring clients). Teaching is my passion, and I love seeing students make connections. And this time, I don't even have to do recess duty or enter grades! Also, it sounds counterintuitive, but every time I teach, it's reaffirmed to me that I'm supposed to be home with Claire for the bulk of my days. Being away from home makes me truly love and appreciate even more every hour that I get to spend at home with my baby.

And so, without further ado, I present the weird and funny things my tutoring students have said!

Young student:
Me: Let's practice the "at" sound. Say it with me. At at at. Good job. Now can you read these words?
Student: C-A-T. Cat.
P-A-T. Pat.
B-A-T. Bat.
R-A-T. Rape.
Me: Oops, you forgot the "at" sound. Remember? At at at. R-at. Rat.
Student: Rat.
Me: Good! Let's do some more.
Student: C-A-T. Cat.
M-A-T. Mat.
F-A-T. Fat.
R-A-T. Rape.


Older student:
Student: Do you want to go see a movie with me? I have twelve bucks. I can't ask my teachers out at school because they'd be like "NO WAY!" but you're not my teacher at school. So do you want to go?
Me: NO WAY!


Young student:
Student: When I was three my baby brother died.
Me: Oh no, that's really sad.
Student: Yeah. His head came off because he got dropped in a garbage can. It was an accident that my mom did.
Me: Oh. My goodness.
Student: Yeah. After that I only had my baby sister doll left because the baby brother doll was in the garbage.
Me: Oh. Phew. You should have mentioned that it was a doll from the beginning.
Student: Yeah, and now he's dead in the garbage.


Older student:
Student: (Circling the 4 on his paper) I'm circling the 4. If you've seen Fantastic 4 you'll know what that is.
Me: (Circling the 9 on my paper) I'm circling the 9. If you've seen Fantastic 9 you'll know what that is.
Student: (Long pause, looks from the paper to me) That's a joke! You're doing a joke! I knew you did jokes! Mom, she does jokes!


Younger student:
Student: I hoped you'd get sick so I wouldn't have to do homework time today.
Me: Sorry, but I'm feeling nice and healthy!
Student: That's okay. Maybe you'll get sick next time.


I love these kids! There's never a dull moment, and I wouldn't have it any other way.