happiness is now

Earlier this week, Sam and I loaded all the kids in the car and drove to the park. It was only 77 degrees, which is almost unheard of for the middle of May in Arizona, and such a beautiful, breezy day.

At one point we took a walk around the lake, with the twins in the stroller and Claire running around looking at the ducks.

At one point we had a sack lunch (these pictures are of a park date a few weeks ago when we brought ice cream). The babies tried to snack on the grass as well, and were not thrilled that we said no.

PHOTOS BY KYLIE POND

At one point we held hands, until Claire tried to interrupt us and hold our hands. We said no at first, mainly because we still like to pretend we're in charge at our house (ha), but eventually we let go in favor of the 1-2-3-swing! game she so likes to play.

At one point we put the twins in the same baby swing, with one twin facing each way. They both love the swing, and it creaked along with our babies for a good fifteen minutes.

At one point Claire worked up the courage to go on the zip line, and loved it so much she did it five times in a row. I think I'll always remember her big belly laughs after a year straight of trying to be brave enough for that zip line.

At one point we all got sand in our shoes, and had to shake our feet like maniacs as we watched the sand fall out of our sandals in soft sheets on the sidewalk.

At one point Claire fussed because we told her it was time to go, and Lincoln fussed because he bonked his head on the metal part of the swing, and Addison fussed because we wouldn't let her eat the grass.

At one point, watching the babies grinning and Claire laughing and Sam making everyone happy, I had a very clear thought in my mind.

"Happiness is now."

I've always known happiness has little to do with my financial/ work/ living circumstances, but on that day I realized it has absolutely nothing to do with that. Happiness is 0% related to whether or not I have the perfect job. Happiness is 0% related to whether we're currently renting or owning. Happiness is 0% related to what others think of my life choices, or my success online, or whether I'm twenty pounds heavier or lighter, or what car I drive.

Happiness is right here, and happiness is right now.

Heaven is right here and right now.

Love, God, forgiveness, grace, and the ability to be happy regardless of your current circumstances is right here and right now.

And that tiny burst of clarity made me cry a little, standing there in the middle of the park pushing a creaky swing.

Then we went home, and the regular chaos of trying to get three small humans down for a nap at the same time ensued, and our day continued as normal. But since then, things have been a little lighter. A little easier. A little less confusing in a very confused world.

Because happiness is right here and right now.