Last night, I felt a little panicky about finally making this plunge as I turned in my last sponsored links to a brand. But this morning, right now as it's 6:05 a.m. and I'm rereading it one last time before I push publish, I feel flooded with peace and excited about this big shift.
As I've been telling people about the end of this blog, the most frequently asked question I've been getting is, "Why?" So here's my answer.
THE WHY
When Silver Lining became a for-profit blog (a.k.a. when more than just my family started reading my blog) I felt very inspired to write specific things and to create a bright and happy online space. I really felt strongly that there were people who needed to read specific experiences I've had with grief, with marriage, with teaching, with young motherhood, and with finding happiness in all stages of life.
Then, rather abruptly at the beginning of this year, I stopped feeling inspired. I felt like the things I needed to say had been said.
Also, I have never thought of blogging as my career. I have never pictured my social media presence as my lifelong, fulfilling source of income. It's always been just a job to me; a really great job, a job I've loved, and a job that's been a fantastic fit while I'm home with my young kids, but just a job nonetheless. My blog was at the point where I needed to either commit and take it to the next level (hire an intern, attend bigger blog conferences, increase my babysitter time) or else get out. And as I thought about that decision, everything inside me said, "It's time to bow out."
A little bit of my decision had to do with blogger burn-out. A little bit had to do with feeling stretched thin as the sole proprietor, where nobody was stopping me from working every night and weekend. A little bit had to do with that hard balance between maintaining my family privacy but also making money from sharing my family online. A little bit had to do with the stage my family is in right now, with lots of big changes happening. But mostly, it's based on strong feelings that it's time to move on, that bigger and better things are ahead.
THE FUTURE
What's next for me?
This is the best part of it all.
And also the most absolutely terrifying part of it all.
I have no idea what's next.
Ever since I was fifteen years old I have constantly been employed (except for six months when my mom died). Not having a job right now is a weird feeling that my workaholic self isn't used to.
So the first thing I'm going to do is TAKE THE DANG SUMMER OFF. No sponsors, no deadlines, no pressure to maintain a presence on any social channels, nothing!
First up? Today during nap time, instead of working like I've been doing every nap time since 2014, I'm going to relax on the couch and read my kindle book I've been on hold for at the library that just downloaded last night. I cannot wait.
Walking away when I've spent years establishing a strong online presence and have brands that want to work with me seems just so foolish and scary some days. But I'm going to do it anyway.
The second thing I'm going to do is figure out what's next. I have a million ideas, a million goals, a million small business plans, a million graduate degree programs, and a million things I want to do in my professional life.
I've been doing lots of research lately about vulnerability. I've also listened to lots of podcasts about entrepreneurs who embrace the time between jobs. They come, they see, they conquer, and then they take time to figure out what's next, to really think through everything, to get inspired, and to begin realizing their next great adventure.
And that's what I'm going to do. Try my hardest to embrace the uncertainty. Embrace the possibility. Embrace this period of being unemployed, and the abundance of time and mental clarity it brings. as I figure out what my next big thing is.
THE INVITATION
If you think for a second I'm going to stop sharing cute pictures of my babies, you have another think coming.
I'll still be active (and still accept an occasional paid campaign) over on my Instagram account here, and I would absolutely love to have you follow along.
I'll also stay active on my personal Facebook page here. If you think I won't recognize your name, send me a quick message along with your friend request and I'd love to connect with you there.
THE THANK YOU
This is what I want to say the most (it's now 6:13 a.m. and there are tears streaming down my face as I read this one more time).
Thank you for reading my blog.
Really, truly, thank you. Thank you for every single page view on every single post. Thank you for pressing that like button, for double-tapping my posts, for clicking through to the brand page, for every single comment, pin, and share over the years. Your support is what enabled me to grow and contract with brands I love that supported my family through our years as students, young professionals, and new parents.
I truly hope this has been a space of meaning for each of my readers. Whether you clicked through once on a Pinterest post, or whether you've been here since day one reading my more personal posts, I hope you've found a space that has left you feeling a little more knowledgeable, a little more prepared, a little more happy or inspired or positive, or just leaving with a great book recommendation, parenting tip, or recipe.
But most of all, thanks for supporting and loving me through everything I shared online. I have poured my heart, soul, energy and brain into this blog. Thank you for being kind as you read these things. Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, for sending sweet words, for sharing my content. Thank you for providing a safe space to land when I sent vulnerable and raw thoughts out here to the vast Internet in hopes that somebody else needed to hear those things.
Thank you, so much, for everything.
And now, I'm taking one last deep breath, and just like that - on to my next great adventure!
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